What’s in a word?

I’ve always loved word play. So when I started this blog, playing with the ‘chronic illness’ part of my title made perfect sense. I wanted to chronicle my life, a record of my thinking for my kids, a resource for other patients, a place where I could write through all the issues I was facing. So calling my blog The Chronic-ills of Rach was fitting and mildly funny.  I think even then though, I was hopeful. I didn’t reserve that name as a domain name, preferring to use rachelfaithcox.com instead.

And life, sometimes, does beautiful things and turns in directions you never expected. I’m in remission, I’m out and about. I’m working and being an active parent. I’m enjoying all the offerings of life in well-land! And it feels quite strange to have a blog called the Chronic-ills of Rach when right now, illness is not the all-consuming factor it used to be in my life. So I have amended my blog title. I wanted to do it this way, to pay homage to the places I have been.  But I’m no good at coding and my blog theme is too locked down.   This is what my title image would have looked like if I had those skills.

the CHRONICLES

It feels like it’s time to move and grow.  The Chronic-ills of Rach will become the Chronicles of Rach, and I will continue to write here.  About the full range of things that happen in my world. Maybe that will include things about remission, maybe relapse (but I really, really hope not!) and maybe there will be more about living life on the outside after a long time living on the inside.  Maybe you’ll come with me as I traverse these new paths? I’d love you to stay.

It’s been frankly quite weird going from mostly horizontal, to a job (plus size modelling) where my work is almost all standing. What a wonderful thing to get to experience the pampering and glamour of having my hair and makeup done by someone else! I’ve been learning all sorts of new tricks about how to make the most of my outward appearance. I feel like I have stepped sideways into a different dimension, into someone else’s life. And it would be a cinch to just drift away on the ease of feeling well, to take it all for granted and live the life that others seems to lead. It’s just that I can’t. I can’t forget and, well…
I don’t want to.

For me, all this outward beauty stuff is truly delightful. It’s a treat. It’s what so many little girls dream of.  Playing dress ups for a job! But I am keenly aware of the fact that outward beauty is ephemeral. There is smoke an mirrors, there is photoshop. There are skilled artists who sculpt and paint and tease and curl. It’s all very beautiful, but it is not soul sustenance. True beauty, the beauty I care about, is soul deep. And that kind of beauty is accessible to everyone, even without a team of hair and makeup and the skills of talented photographers!  True beauty shines out from the insides. And it is only created through experience.  Through living all of life’s highs and lows.

chroniclestitlechangeimage

So, from a girl-all-at-sea, into a fast world of action and busy-ness, I stop and survey the terra-firma. I hope to keep one eye at all times on the things that matter most. People. Connection. Communication. Kindness. These things easily get lost in the cut and thrust of everyday life. Mine is a strange shift of fortunes and I want so badly not to lose the lessons that washed up with me on this shore. I will gather them. I will continue to write about the things that matter.

So, welcome to my new/old blog!  Will you be hanging around?

21 thoughts on “What’s in a word?”

  1. I will most definitely be staying – I have loved your blog from the moment I found it. I have cried and laughed and felt your frustrations and rejoiced with your wins. But this new phase is amazing to watch/read and I for one am so happy to have ring side seats to the creation of the butterfly. You deserve every lost drop of goodness that life throws at you. Xx

    1. Oh Sarah! I am so glad you are staying! I feel like I have grown a little family here and I love it very much! Your support has always meant so much to me and I look forward to walking the next leg of the journey with you alongside. 🙂 X

  2. Wow Rachel, this didn’t even seem possible 12 months ago! So glad to see you are making the most of life (not that you ever didn’t) you so deserve this time of ease and happiness after all you have been through. Xx

    1. Isn’t it cool? I am so grateful/happy/relieved/surprised. Thanks so much for hanging in there with me Erica, through some of the worst of times. I’m looking forward to some of the best of times with you in the future, the next time we can get ourselves into the same city! Xox

  3. I will be hanging around until the day I die! We’ve never met, but I count you as a dear friend. Your good health doesn’t disappoint me, or make me sad or jealous. Instead, I feel like a proud friend sitting in the stand, cheering you on in a race.
    “You GO girl!!” I’m yelling loudly.
    “You’re doing AWESOME!”
    And then I’m turning to the people beside me and saying, “That’s my friend! Isn’t she amazing!”

    And the best part is, you haven’t forgotten about me sitting there in the stands. Or all the others sitting with me. You’re running, but you’re waving at us while we cheer you on. You were sitting with us in the stands once, watching other people run. And even while you enjoy the change, your healthy legs pumping, your heart pounding, you haven’t forgotten.

  4. So thrilled you have escaped the chrysalis case, and that you are now the beautiful butterfly which has escaped to freedom. <3

  5. Rachel, So sorry that it has taken me so long to reply back. We have been working long hours BUT I DEFINITELY WANT TO STAY!!!!!! Your blog lifts me up so much that words can’t describe how much. Please keep on doing great things in your life. You look totally awesome too! Take care and I hope that you and your family have a great and blessed MERRY CHRISTMAS. Randy

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