Missing Persons

This is not my usual kind of topic.  But I felt compelled to write about it.  I hope you will read it, it matters.

don't forget about us

Missing Persons
When we first got satellite TV, I spent a disturbing night, up until late, watching a documentary on the Crime channel.  It caught my interest because I recognised the picture they flashed up of a girl I had seen on the news some weeks earlier.  I was deeply distressed when I watched the news report about her imprisonment in a room of the basement in her childhood home.  Nobody knew she was there apart from her kidnapper. It had disturbed me greatly.  So when I saw her face, my thumb paused on the button of the remote.

And I paused, too; I watched.  I sat, transfixed with horror as all the awful facts of her incarceration were laid out.  Then, other cases.  Another German girl.  Then, two more girls, held captive for years in a dugout in Russia.  And Jaycee Dugard, kidnapped and held in plain sight. The stories horrified me; the victims astounded me.  Such inner strength, such survival, against odds that must have seemed hopeless.

And it struck me as I watched, that this kind of documentary, this kind of channel, dedicated to the crimes people have committed… surely we should be concerned about this?  There it is, all laid out for the sociopaths and psychopaths of the world. All the information they could ever need?  A how-to-guide for abduction, kidnap, subjugation and torture.  A twenty-four-seven feast of human horrors.  And not just this kind of crime.  Every kind of crime. The TV is full of it.  Whodunnits, forensic science and murder shows, action thrillers, bounty hunters, drug lords, pimps and con-men. Why do we have these channels? I ask myself, why do I watch, when I do? I am so disturbed I have nightmares, but still, there are times when I watch.  It really concerns me.

Some of the people who watch, regularly feed their brains on this diet of destruction. If they are people with violent thoughts and desires, it must be like an endless drug supply of their favourite hit.  Until the 2D images are not enough.  Then what?  Why do we keep supplying this drug?

Then, just recently, another documentary flicked across my screen as I was scrolling.  This one about the three girls in Cleveland, held captive, tortured and all but destroyed, for ten years by Ariel Castro.  I watched the policemen talk about the case.  I heard the neighbours, exclaiming in disbelief. I saw footage of family candlelight vigils, the broken faces of mothers and fathers whose children were lost.  It honestly made me want to look away.  It’s hard to absorb the pain of that loss in the face of another mother. It is an unthinkable torture they endure, too.

Why do human beings do these things to each other?  Why are some people so hideously broken that they must break others?  Can the cycle ever end? Will no one stand up and call for less of this violent education on our screens, in our living rooms, one click of the remote away?  What happens to all those unsupervised, under-parented kids who watch this stuff? And what about the computer games, so hyper real your brain is tricked into responses similar to real life.  Environments where car theft, rape and criminal activity are the mainstays of the game? I don’t understand where it is all going, I don’t want to.   But it worries me sick.  Does it worry you?

I have read a couple of the books written by survivors of human slavery. Tonight I finished the second. Their stories are terrifying, heart wrenching, and also inspiring.  But I was struck by the similarity in both Jaycee Dugard and Michelle Knight’s stories.  For both of the perpetrators, a diet of extreme porn and crime channel television were significant interests.  Are we paying attention to these things?  Do we care?  Do we dare to say; not here?  As mothers, wives, women and ultimately, the nurturers of all the babies that enter this world, when do we say ‘enough of these images, these ideas, this sickness’?

Our missing persons numbers continue to grow.  From tiny little ones, childen, adolescents, young people.  Countless souls, unaccounted for.  How many are trapped and needing our vigilance.  Have you ever googled ‘missing persons’ in Google images?  It is overwhelmingly distressing. Do you know your neighbours?  Do you listen for disturbing sounds?  Do you ever call the police?  Do you share and circulate the pictures of missing people on Social Media, or do you look away?  Click away?  Try to pretend it isn’t happening?

I saw this little guy again on my newsfeed the other day: he’s still missing.  And I am ashamed to say that I clicked away.  After staying up tonight to finish reading Michelle Knight’s book about her kidnap ordeal, I resolved to stay up a little longer and write this. And to post his face here. He is only one of so many.  Let’s not look away from their faces anymore.

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Want more information about missing persons?

Go to the NZ Police Missing Persons facebook page.  Receive notifications and spread the word.  You can find it here.

Are you in Australia?  Here is the Australian Federal Police missing persons page

The International Centre for Missing and Exploited Children (ICMEC) is a global movement to promote the safety and well-being of children.

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and finally, some words from Michelle Knight herself.
“for now, the only kind of sense I can make out of everything that has happened is this: we all go through hard things.  We might wish we didn’t, but we do.  Even if I don’t understand my pain, I have got to turn it into some kind of purpose”

And she is.  Michelle is putting her life back together and helping other people and children who have been victimised.  Her story is horrific, but her attitude blows my mind. What an amazing survivor she is.

My heart goes out to all those still missing persons and their families.  May they all get the chance to be free again, just like Michelle.  And may we remember not to forget them as we go about our daily lives.

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These books are difficult reads. They make you want to look away. Reading them will make you stop, to cry. To catch your breath.  To shake in your boots. You may have nightmares or lose sleep.  They are terrifying tales and emotionally raw, real stories.  I certainly didn’t enjoy reading them, but I am glad that buying them will contribute to the income of these girls. And I hope that their stories will help us to do something about the welfare of our vulnerable, disenfranchised young women and children in society.

The Lament for the Numb

Listen to Dave Dobbyn singing his Lament for the Numb. 

Dave Dobbyn: Album Cover. Beside You. 30 Years of Hits.
Dave Dobbyn: Album Cover. Beside You. 30 Years of Hits.

Life is so busy.  I know. It’s nicer, warmer and safer to cocoon ourselves into the business of each day and shelve the big issues.  Maybe you’ve been hurt, or you are over it all.  Maybe there is nothing left after you’ve dealt with your day. But if you could pause and think about it, what are the things beyond your daily life that you care about? Deeply? What are the things that worry at the back of your mind, the things you wish you were taking some action about?

I care about kids abandoned to poverty, poor choices and the cycle of violence.  Kids who don’t even get breakfast before they start the school day. I have seen the fallout from that first hand when I was teaching in low decile schools, it worries me for the future of our country.

I care about the 27 million human souls trafficked as slaves, their voices screaming into the void, unheard.  I can’t even comprehend the enormity of what a number like that means in human terms.  Twenty seven million individuals, as important as you and me.  

 

She is a survivor of sex slavery. Kidnapped by an armed group at the age of 13, she spent the following three years under its control. Her life depended on the will of her commander, who forced her to transport dry minerals during he day and raped her nightly as his "wife." Forced marriage and its connection to enslavement remain poorly understood.  Source: freetheslaves.net
She is a survivor of sex slavery. Kidnapped by an armed group at the age of 13, she spent the following three years under its control. Her life depended on the will of her commander, who forced her to transport dry minerals during he day and raped her nightly as his “wife.” Forced marriage and its connection to enslavement remain poorly understood. Source: freetheslaves.net

I care about educating girls about how powerful and significant they are for our future.  In some countries girls have no voice and no choice, but even here in our pocket of peace, where we have no wars, no corruption, no excuse; we are not doing nearly enough to empower young women who do have choice. Why do we continue to diminish and reduce them to a two dimensional image of value, until poor self esteem boxes them into small lives?

 

Source: a girlsrighttodream.tumblr.com
Source: a girlsrightto dream.tumblr.com

Why can’t we all be kinder?  I care about the numbers of people ending their suffering through suicide.  The immeasurable sadness left in their wake. I want to gather all the sad, suffering people up into an enormous embrace.  Why can’t we look out for each other better?  What stops us from helping people who are in pain? Why don’t we ask… are you okay?

 

source: herphany.tumblr.com
source: herphany.tumblr.com

And I care about all the people suffering from poor health.  It’s everywhere you look, hideous epidemics like cancer. Such an insidious enemy, robbing people of their loved ones. I care about finding a cure. If we had a cure, I’d still have my beautiful mum.

And I care about the millions of people like me, suffering from ailments that are poorly understood by Medical Science.  Chronic illnesses are long term, vitality sapping problems without adequate research funding to create studies that will improve our quality of life. For every patient who languishes in a health system that cannot help, bowled over by their diagnosis, there is a family, suffering alongside.  There are kids, husbands, siblings, grandparents and dear friends, required to take on more than they can.  There are sacrifices and prices to be paid that will be felt long after the patient has gone.

 

Source. amf.com.au
Source. amf.com.au

I feel passionately about these things. What are your deep concerns in our world?
Pia, one of the fellow students of my blogging course, is running something called a link-up.  She sent out the call for us to write about something we care about, providing links for taking action.  The power of social media is bigger than just making connections.  So I resolved to write this post about that something I really care about, with some useful information and ways you can help, if you want to.

But I care about a lot of things.  And my magic wand is broken.

So, here are the ways that I am doing what I can about the stuff I care about.   Until that wand is fixed, doing something is better than doing nothing.  If you want to join me, here is some information and links.

To donate to or provide sponsorship to the wonderful programme that is helping impoverished kiwi kids to get breakfast and basic clothing, have a look at KidsCan.

To learn more about the horrific realities of contemporary slavery, watch this TED talk, please watch all the way until you see the images of what a reunion after liberation from slavery really looks like, look at those beautiful mother faces, I dare you.
To
 
find organisations working to help those caught in the human trafficking trade, see this directory.

For a website aimed at empowering young women in first world countries, check out this phenomenal resource:  AMightyGirl

To help raise money for Ovarian Cancer Research, you could host a “morning teal”, you can go here to find out more.  Or to join the community of people in New Zealand with Familial cancers related to the BRCA mutations, go here.

To donate to the only Australasian research that is currently happening in the field of Dysautonomia, go to my friend Michelle’s fundraising page.  Help me to do my bit for Dysautonomia awareness and research.  We are a small number of patients, but each one of us is a precious human being who is desperate for more answers.  Maybe your bit will help?


And I care about YOU with all my heart.  You have a battle on your hands, no matter who you are, no matter what your life’s story is.  You are human.  It is a pretty raw state, it hurts sometimes.  Sometimes you feel so numb. Even if you can’t see the hands reaching for you, they are there.  Take action. You can grab hold of a hand, or even just let one grab yours instead of pulling away.  Connection is what keeps us all together.  If you have been feeling like leaving, please don’t.  Grab hold of a hand, or ring for help, set the wheels in motion.   Look here, or call these good people, or talk to the people you love.

And if you are reading my blog because you too suffer from a chronic illness, here are some things you can do to practise some self-care  I have them on good authority, my Health Psychologist gave me a chapter to read for homework last week.  It’s called “A Caring Hand” from this book; The Reality Slap by Russ Harris.  My Psych is a good ‘un, so I am passing on these nuggets to you.  I wish it were my own, real caring hand that could rest on your shoulder today… do know that my heart is with your heart.

Thanks Pia, for your wonderful call to action.