Rainy Day People


Maybe you’re not old enough to know them, or maybe you were lucky enough to have had crooners like Gordon Lightfoot, James Taylor, Jim Croce, Dan Fogelberg, Joni Mitchell and Janis Ian as the soundtrack to your most memorable years.  I’ve always been drawn to the stories in their songs.  When I was sick, music was my go-to mind medicine. These artists and others like them brought me solace when I needed it, a focus for my mind, and best of all comfort.

They still do. I was driving along in the car yesterday and a wave of tearfulness swept over me. I had already put the windscreen wipers on before I realised the rain was my own.  Jostein Garder described this general sadness that I feel, in his book ‘Sophie’s World’. He called it ‘world-sadness’. That feeling of connectedness to all the tragedies in life, happening everywhere. It can be so overwhelming. So tiring to have this kind of emotional hyper-sensitivity. If only I could flick the switch and find my happy self in moments like that. Instead, I have learned to just let the waves of it wash over me.

Have you ever been deep in the world-sadness and the most perfect song has come up in your playlist or on the radio? Yesterday it was Gordon Lightfoot, ‘Rainy Day People’.  So beautiful. My rainy day person is my friend Flo. She popped in the other day with a gift for me. She said, it had pretty much bought itself before she had time to think. Somehow these are just meant to be yours, she said. I opened the parcel to find six exquisite tea mugs, each with different blue and white moroccan mosaic patterns.  They are so perfect. They reminded me instantly of the china my Mum collected, that precious, carefully curated selection now amalgamated with my own.  I held one of the mugs in my hands and smiled gratefully at my friend. I don’t need gifts, but the thoughtfulness of hers made me feel profoundly fortunate. How lucky I am to have a friend like her. Someone who understands me, who somehow knows just when it’s time to call.  I hope you’ve got some rainy day people in your world, too.

If you haven’t heard this Gordon Lightfoot classic lately, or ever…
here is Rainy Day People:

Jess Cochran: Mind and Body

Two weeks ago, another patient from the Dysautonomia community in the USA took her own life. Suicide is so hard to talk about, as is the mental illness that can make it appear like a good solution. Today in my Meet My Peeps guest series, Jess Cochran talks about her own battles with mental health.  I applaud her willingness to discuss such a difficult aspect of life with chronic illness.  Patients who suffer with long term illness may not always address their mental wellbeing in addition to their physical.  Some may be trying and not able to access the help they need.  It’s an area for vigilance, for patients, their friends and their families.  In this piece, Jess discusses the frustrations she experiences with mental health services where she lives in Melbourne Australia. Please find her helpful list of links at the bottom of the page.  If you are also in Australia, and you or someone you know is struggling, the links Jess has provided may just make the difference.

Have the discussion.  Make today the day you talk about it.  Life is a precious and valuable thing.

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I often get frustrated and upset, not

I’ve been on this trolley in emergency for so long now, watching the nurses flit backwards and forwards. Feeling a jolt in my stomach every time one passes by, hoping that there is an update…that finally I might get off this hard trolley. I was brought in by the mental health team to be monitored and assessed while they tried to get me a bed somewhere longer term. I’m quite used to processes like this; lying in emergency has become a regular thing over the last few years. Sometimes it is for monitoring physically due to heart trouble, or injuries from falls.  Sometimes for my mental health. I know the drill. But I had never been there for this long before.

Being brought in wasn’t a surprise, I had been struggling quite a lot mentally. There was the body breakdown I had been experiencing, mostly from my POTS (Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome) but the pain had been eating away at me too. I have multiple conditions. I am usually an upbeat, chirpy girl. But I was was slipping into a low depression. I had reached out for help and this emergency stay was he first part of getting a mental health admission sorted. However I didn’t expect to be here this long.

That worker bee, whose job it was to seek out hard-to-find beds, had been working hard. But there had been no luck. Difficulty finding a bed wasn’t unexpected, but being in limbo for all this time in the emergency ward was. I’ve been dealing with the psych system from the age of 12; my first admission was in my first year of high school and then things had continued from there. I knew only too well how it all worked. Though I do notice, in the last few years it has become much more difficult.

Since my wheelchair came along my admissions to psych have become very far and few between. First I started to get turned down for admission with the main psych hospital where my treatment has been for 10 years.  That was on the basis that I am disabled and too ill (even at times when my symptoms were not so severe and my physical health stable). Sometimes it seemed like inpatient psychiatric units chose to not take on patients like me, with complex physical illness (even if managed) and in particular, mobility aids. It’s seems that people like me get put in the too-hard-basket. Perhaps they expect that some other place will take on the patient. So far I have only come across two psychiatric hospitals that take on people with mobility aids, both of them being private. This is extremely frustrating and not good news for people with mental health needs who fit in the disability category.

When I have spoken to many fellow sufferers of debilitating chronic illness and/or disability I was initially glad that I wasn’t the only one that experienced a massive fluctuation mentally.  I wasn’t alone and that made me feel a little comforted. I often get frustrated and upset, not just for myself, but for others like me. It’s hard to deal with the fact that sometimes, for some people it all gets too hard. Almost a year ago now I lost a very dear friend who had been battling with debilitating illness in similar circumstances; she found it so tiring and frustrating that nobody out there was able to ‘hear’ her… and most of all help her. She slipped further and further into depression with only a handful of people knowing it was happening. And then, just like that I had a call telling me that she had gone…another life lost to a system that doesn’t always know how to respond to complex cases.

In a society that has been talking about the strong links between mental health, physical health and emotional health I find it very shocking that things are the way they are.  Even with the strong messages out there, to keep an eye on yourself, to ask for help; there doesn’t seem to be accommodation to meet the needs of people with complex conditions who ask for help.

We shouldn’t have to be scared of reaching out for help in fear of being stuck in limbo in a busy Emergency ward, trying desperately to find somewhere to go, or even just to be put on the waiting list. We shouldn’t have to lose friends and fellow sufferers not so much because of the battle they are having with their body but the battle they are having with their mind and complications of a system that isn’t helping. Mental health care is vital for a person who is dealing with chronic illness. Whether that be support from friend, family, fellow sufferers or psychiatric services, it shouldn’t be the case that you have to put on a brave face all the time.

The time for change is now, its all very good for the medical teams to talk about caring for MIND, and body…but can they put this theory into real action?

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If you, like Jess, live in Australia and are worried about yourself or a loved one please contact one of the following for support:

Black Dog Institute
Information on symptoms, treatment and prevention of depression and bipolar disorder.

Carers Australia
1800 242 636
Short-term counselling and emotional and psychological support services for carers and their families in each state and territory.

Headspace
1800 650 890
Free online and telephone service that supports young people aged between 12 and 25 and their families going through a tough time.

Kids Helpline
1800 55 1800
A free, private and confidential, telephone and online counselling service specifically for young people aged between 5 and 25.

MensLine Australia
1300 78 99 78
A telephone and online support, information and referral service, helping men to deal with relationship problems in a practical and effective way.

mindhealthconnect
An innovative website dedicated to providing access to trusted, relevant mental health care services, online programmes and resources.

MindSpot Clinic
1800 61 44 34
An online and telephone clinic providing free assessment and treatment services for Australian adults with anxiety or depression.