I have a very loving relationship with words. Words and I have been going around together for many years. But sometimes, words disappear and I am left floundering without my dear friend. Lost in the land of no writing. When that happens, I try reading. I listen to music. I try to be more observant of what is going on around me. I try to find the ‘muse’. But she is even more elusive than the words.
So I am just going to collate here a few things that have been skipping around my brain, skirting the edges and looking for a place to land. Usually these things arrive for me all packaged up and ready to write, but not this time. So bear with me while I purge to the page, all the little bitsies that don’t seem to fit anywhere in particular.
First and most importantly: I got my histology results! The “margins were clear,” which means, no more high grade pre-cancer cells proliferating on my cervix. Woop! I am so happy about that! It was such a weird sensation to get that news, because I wouldn’t have been at all surprised if my luck really was that bad. Ya know?! (I’ve been reading about types of cognitivie bias, thanks to my friend Beth… this type of thinking is an example of negative bias. You can read about 9 other types here). So I am thankful and happy and so full of the joys of spring over that very good news! That medical terminology about margins… it got me thinking about the margins of society, how some things are marginal, and some people are too. I thought about how often I doodle in the margins. And I wanted to write a post about that, but I couldn’t make it happen. So instead, a paragraph. The margins were clear. And… exhale! By the way, did you know that Colin Firth is not just rather attractive, he’s also deeep?! Lookie here…
During the course of my Be.Leadership programme, we have examined the concept of unconscious bias. All forms of bias. The challenges to clear thinking and accurate assessments of situations. I think being able to identify bias is a really important criticial thinking challenge for all of us. Particularly at this juncture in human history. My cousin posted this on facebook from the Dalai Lama. It says it better than me. But do look also at this article if you are interested in discovering the types of cognitive bias that might be dogging your thinking. For me it is a constant search and stretch as I seek objectivity and good decision making, as a mother, friend, wife, sister, daughter, citizen. I think of these biases as ways of thinking that adjust my sails. My course can be drastically altered and I can end up way off course if I let them influence my thinking without conscious awareness. Being aware helps me to counterbalance my thinking.
So that is me and my jumble of thoughts today.
I also want to tell you, but almost in a whisper, just so I don’t jinx it, that I am feeling really good. Stronger. It’s not what I expected as I begin to wean off the meds that have helped me so much. So… fingers crossed. I’m going to employ some gambler’s bias (‘it’s a winning streak!’) and let my ship sail quietly into a safe harbour. I’ll stay there as long as weather permits.
Shhhhh, let’s not rouse the wind from it’s four corners. Shhhhh…